He was 13.He was confident, he was passionate, he was a dreamer. He made his own ideologies possible. He has the physic of a football player: tall, broad, with fibers and tendons like leather and iron, that seemed stout enough to take on many types of aggressive contact.
Being told he was playing beyond his years. He was thrown around in leagues where the guys were older, bigger more experienced. But was strong, smart, and his determination outweighed his insecurities. He didn't care if you were his best friend, if he had to go through you for a puck--goodbye.
A slash from behind and the strongest bone in the body split. The sound still wakes him up at night. They told him he might never be able to skate again. It was his worst nightmare.
3 months.
90 days, physical therapy, and sweat that could be confused as being caught in a rainstorm. The only way you knew it wasn't rain? It was stanky. He put on his blinders to the world's expectations and statistical expectancies. He never listened to mediocre expectations anyways, he never let himself fall into any category.
"even if people dont appreciate your talents now, someone will eventually see them & really appreciate you for them. your hard work will pay off - it all comes out in the wash."
At the time it was meant to be a kiss of inspiration for the player he was. But what is often forgotten is what is most significant. The most beautiful people I know are the survivors of suffering, struggle, loss, and depletion. They didn't realize the depths of their strength until faced with devastation. They have a sensitivity that is raw and visible, and gentleness that is
calming and warm.
Dreams.
We all have dreams. We all have or have had an idealistic one and or a realistic one. Luckily some people get to combine the two and turn their dreams of being a rock star or designer into their reality. I truly believe if you're crazy and madly passionate, to almost the point of insane some of those further realities are possible. But I also believe that we forget the windows that also fly open when we hit a brick wall.
Even if you don't have the power to choose what wont happen, doesn't mean you can't try to
choose what will.
New Room.
I think sometimes the things we planned halt because there is something else. Even if we don't know what or how something could possible be more perfect. Sometimes things let go of us because new and better things need to come in.
The love of his life, the only game he ever wanted to play, the only job he ever wanted to work, slowly proved to be the things he had to let go of. These types of things are never going to be easy. And getting over or getting use to that idea is probably the most difficult reality he has had. But in our souls are these other miraculous and special traits they we may not have realized existed if other things wouldn't have led us there. Even if his mind is tangled he is now free to explore anything and everything. And there has to be some peace in knowing that.
Letting go doesn't mean you don't love it still, it just means it's not the only thing anymore.
We all sometimes need to remember that wishing to be something starts with believing you can. Letting go of the things that let go of us to open up for the new and better things. There's so much magic possible in those possibilities of the unknown-- learning and figuring out who you are by forgiving who you're not.
"Ending something whether a dream, a goal, a friendship, a relationship or a tie with someone is always hard, always sad. There's a lingering regret of what went wrong and questions that will never be answered. But I came to realize that as a page of my life ends with them, somewhere somehow, a new chapter is waiting to start." -Tere Arigo
Just be willing. Just be brave...
