So I'm gonna be taking you back to April. Back to the infamous bed bug infested, sticky floor, couldn't change the channel because the remote was somewhere in the couch-- (rule one of our house: NEVER stick your hand between the couch cushions unless you like the look of a major allergic reaction going up your arm) No insulation, walls of hollow cardboard, lady bugs for pets, sat on the heater to warm my buttocks up-- era. My second semester... of the final year of college. The semester I would never go back and change-- nope, not even when they quarantined my scratchy bitten.to.death bod in the student health center. Good times mate, good times.

So my deal is simple but strange. I'm not scared of the things most people would be scared of i.e: big crowds in small spaces, being alone in the pitch dark,bunging jumping, speed boats, fast cars, snakes yada yoda. I grew up with brothers who made me their running target in paintball practice. They toughened my sissy girly girl act real fast.  I'm scared of the simple things i.e. Don't like elevators, airplanes or just the feeling of being stuck. Sure, I'm strange whatever-- we all got somethan that's makes it fun for other people. (A not-so-hilar family, who have a giddy time jumping on elevators) So when I tell you that one of the best weekends of my life was when I hopped my first flight, Sweated it out jamming to Adele, (who kept my expectations nice and depressing incase the whole might-go-down airplane thing happened-to-happen) and went to the big apple most would think that wasn't a big deal. Leyme tell ya, my no judgement readers- that flight had me drinking dry martinis pre take-off. Holy. Hot. Mess. 

About 40 long minutes later, I switched up my low- expectancy to survive the flight-- over to my new zest for life, to none other: my mayne, Jay-Z and Alicia for complimentary landing tunes. I Kissed the cement, got my swag on, hopped in my first New York cabbie alone and headed to heaven: West 57th and some other numba. (Details...details)

I landed and my smokin' aunt had sush and some red wine waiting for my dehydrated, sweaty tooshie, 'Adeled' flight of doom.

So here is another simple but super cray (crazy) thing about my family: no one cares to notice or act their age. My grandparents actually might believe.... in their mind.... they're still fresh... out of the oven.... college grads. Grandpa says he's going to the office....... .. ... Found out a few years ago the  "office" is a classier noun for bar. Grandma loves to dangle herself on his arm, so you can find those two dancing and drankin' down at their local hot-spot yacht club. Hey raising five kids (one being my mother) couldn't have been a walk in the park. So you go and get it. These 70 year-old children, who single handedly can outdrink my brohas and I combined... well my little boozers.... GOD love ya,Cheers.

Give my mother a good compliment and a cocktail and she never fails to utter: "Tay, momma's stillll got-it." This is pre--dancin like a long haired version of limp biskit. Meow momma 
me-ow. Moving on, My favorite man, give him a shot of tequila and the man forgets he hasn't played football since touch in college, and all of a sudden he morphs into Brian Urlacher. macho man. So, to make sure the judgments are being true to form: here's the thing about my super-fly New York aunt. The thing is so pretty it's hard to look at her when she talks...because you just stare...and that can be a little strange. She's a hot digitty dang. But on top of that she feels closer to my age than she does hers.  When I went through my first real difficult breakup, she and my 'mon petite cheri' (my little darling) uncle would call me at 4AM and we would stay up shyt-talk and bonding until 6AM.  

So here's the thing. She has always showed me the possibility of what's possible if you just try to work for the means of what you deserve and work for. The girl kills it for her job and therefore she has a killer life. But when she showed me New York. I mean, really did me good aka: hot-spot clubs, super chic restaurants, hitting my credit limit in SoHo.  She showed me a new beginning of a life I never knew I needed or wanted soooo bad. 

So here's where it gets personal. My soul sisters, whom I don't know how I got so frackkin lucky that they found me. We're all are in places in our lives that is so disconnected. We worked hard in school because we had a good idea of what we wanted. But let's face it, I'm not blaming everything on the economy, even though it is an issue in this love and hate post- college breakeup. (which has been my most difficult breakup to date) But I heard the infamous "live in the present" quote again. And OK, I understand it, I mean I get it; but I never really fully ate it up, swallowed and digested it. Until now. I know I have this section of my soul that has the 'wonderlust' characteristic, No, I don't mean to travel to the ends of the earth or do something like couch surf (just hard about that, if you don't know google that hipster-hotness) But I know for myself I have to divide to conquer. I know I can always go home. Home to me isn't my house, or the Chi-town. It is really where family is. But to get where I want to be, I must do it my own way. When I say that to my favorite man-- I think he holds his breath and counts backwards from 10. (confession: I use to say it just to get my love for the jib-jab) But now.... it's so true. So here's the 1-2- punch.

I get it, the economy sucks, we miss college, we miss living with our people we made into our own little families. But to get where you worked so hard for-- you gotta prepare now. No, I'm not quitting my job, hopping on another Adele-DOOMED United. I'm not gonna eat.pray.love this journey out. YES...I want to do those things, but I don't need them RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANCE. Our generation has the here, now, NEXT BEST '5G-'ness' mentality. But what we have to remember is to slow-it-down my little rabbit. Be the hare for a little, you'll win the race. 

I'll do the dance and be the little rookie-------that I am. I'll work to be the boss that I want to be. Here's the deal. Love is ALWAYS in the details. There is nothing better than the love of the struggle, and then the promise that comes from the motivation of the struggle. So work hard-- work so hard that sometimes you feel like you're your boss's boss. Walk the tight rope for the dream. Be the hare. One thing I know... ya gotta Keep your moralities, work-to-work- hard, work for quality, work for the practice to get to the win. Let inspiration fill your steps, and I truly believe this: that eventually those steps will lead you home.




The other day I hit one of those walls talking to a friend where the story lost it's mojo. I found myself doing circles in attempt to walk away with some dignity. Luckily my friend just started to laugh either A. to make me shut-it or B. She thought of something else that would make her laugh to the same volume frequency. Here's a great example:



Things I believe:

When history repeats itself it always comes back twice as bad.

Never ever be comfortable. Comfortable is another word for grey

One dream can change your life

Ask the universe your questions...it will surprise you. 

You waste so much of your life having an ego. Having pride is one thing, having an abundance is catastrophic. I've seen it... it literally can destroy you. 

If you can’t stimulate her mind, you don’t deserve the rest of it…

Get out there. Jump off the ledge. Sign that dance card and tip toe yourself to a little distraction. 

In my opinion, if someone isn't asking you about something that is right in their face, chances are they don't care to know too much about you either. 

We make the easiest thing the most complicated. If you care- you care. It's simple. Why make the good stuff the complicated?

you find the magic of the world in the margin of error.

If two people believe in something, like really believe in it. Even the impossible is possible.


Accolades 3

If your dreams don't scare you they're not big enough
-read it

“No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you absolutely, positively do have the power to change.” ~Bill Phillips

"Don't look back unless you enjoy the view."

"I hope you know how great and gentlemanly you are honestly,"
   -I'm ok, it's the world that's wrong..."

"Right now, someone you haven't met yet is out there wondering what it would be like to meet someone like you."-The buried life.

"There's a trick to a graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a stage of life, a relationship go. It means leaving what's over without denying it's value."-Ellen Goodman

"Why do things have to have limits. It's not always easy and it's not always conditional."-overheard



Innocent bystanders:

"There's always a chance, There's always a choice"-Overheard

"A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl."-read

"Men were born with the balls for a reason."-Friend

"It doesn't matter anymore. Anything that is that confuses you that much you run from. Don't waste anymore time being this confused."

"I swear...behind every hot girl there is some guy tired of hooking up with her"

“Be wise, my dear, you must learn to just be still Until you really, really know”

No Thanks, I'm grateful for just this.

I pay attention when someone uses feelings rather than words

Knowing everything won’t do you a bit of good unless you use it to put beauty into this world.

"Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don’t be sorry."
-Jack Kerouac


A goal without a plan is just a wish- Antoine de Saint

"...I was thinking the other day in class came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what decision we make as long as we take something from them and learn from them."-Friend 

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived.”- George S. Patton, Jr.



I don't know if it's luck or that my small ears (thanks mommma) have the napoleon complex, causing them to act more like satellite dishes than antennas. This over aggressiveness has led me to come across people saying fantastic things.
Like any good, romantic, and predictable Nicholas Sparks' movie I like to believe sometimes I was meant to hear it. 
Being like any other normal girl....I tell my girlfriends basically everything they need to know. But once in awhile, I want that one piece of advice or wisdom that couldn't come from anyone but Buddha or the Dalai Lama. But since my two dishes don't have that sort of frequency... and my friends and I gave up on  relaying on answers from the possibility of fate, chance and the radio station in high school...
Sometimes the next best thing is from the stranger who didn't realize that's exactly what I needed to hear. I write some of them down when they're things I know I probably wont hear again but should think about often. But Now...I decided to post some of them every few  days or weeks here. Because sometimes stumbling across words of enlightenment or challenge are just what we needed to hear or see for a sense of satisfaction or evaluation. 

{[“Absence Is To Love, What The Wind Is To Fire, When It’s a Small Fire The Wind Kills It But When It’s a Real Fire It Intensifies It”-DVF

"It's Better Not To Know Sometimes..." -my friend's mom

"The Trick Is To Enjoy Life. Don't Wish Your Days Waiting For Better Ones Ahead." -grandma

"Everything has beauty, if you don't see that we have bigger issues..."- Professor

"Young Hearts are wise. They fall in love with everything. Good For Them."- Heard This

"Say Less, Mean More." -mom

God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don’t run after them.- Rick Warren

Never Believe a girl when she says she doesn't care.- friend

"Personal Letters Should Always Be Handwritten." - friend

"Give Laugh to all but smile to one. Give love to all but heart to one. Give life to all but live for one."- read this]}



 By: Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist 

1.  Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
    on the same night.

2.  If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
    has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3.  There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4.  People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5.  You should not confuse your career with your life.

6.  Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7.  Never lick a steak knife.

8.  The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9.  You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
    compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
    suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people
    to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
    gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,  deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a
    nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be a afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone
    amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the   Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as    grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.



Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford.
"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.


I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.


My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - ((these things just fall away in the face of death,)) leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
The Whole Earth Catalog - Stay hungry, stay foolish


Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much."
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